This is why I don’t keep blogs. Because I never update them! I’m not feeling focused right now, so I’m bulleting:
1. Last week, I found a chain saw in my street. Rather, it was like the skeleton of a chain saw; no chain and no colored exterior, so it was basically a very heavy barbed sword. My friend and I moved it out of the street onto the sidewalk, so no one would run over it, and then we realized it was probably a bad idea to get our fingerprints on it.
2. Today, I failed the motorcycle skills test (which is required to drive a vespa). If I was still a working journalist, I would investigate whether the California DMV gets kickbacks from those $250- $350 motorcycle safety courses that the CA DMV recommends you take, because one is exempted from taking the road test if they complete a safety course and the California motorcycle skills test is, I would approximate, 80% impossible. I’m honestly not being bitter about it–I don’t think you could pass that test on a unicycle. The only plus side is that the guy administering the test was super-rude, and I called him out on it, and he actually seemed a little embarrassed and was immediately more polite.
3. I’m dating someone who makes me laugh and I love the smell of his pheromones. I’m 90% positive he doesn’t wear cologne, but I love his smell.
4. I saw some really bad improv last week where, when the group was stumped, they would all chant the last word that the last person said in increasingly loud voices. For example, if their scene was at the beach and “Joe” said that he wanted to go hunt for octopus because his tentacle collection needed updating, if no one knew how to respond, they’d start shouting “tentacles… Tentacles… TENTACLES… TENTACLES!… TENTACLES!!!” It sucked. I’ve been finding improv increasingly unsatisfying lately; I feel that overwhelmingly, improv is funny because you know the comedians are working without a script, but it’s not actually funny. If the material you’re watching had been scripted, you’d leave.
5. For the past three years, everyone has been telling me that I had to watch Weeds because I would love it. I noticed a few weeks ago that Netflix recommended it for me based on my viewing history… and I’m four seasons deep now and I have to limit myself to watching one episode a day, because otherwise I’d get nothing done. Also, I realized in the second season that I had seen Hunter Parrish in Spring Awakening in December 2008. I knew he was on Weeds at the time but didn’t have much interest in the show then. Anyway, it’s a great, totally escapist show.